Suspected "Shoe Bomber" Richard Reid, who is charged with trying to kill hundreds of people by igniting a bomb on an international flight, agreed to plead guilty to the eight charges against him in Federal Court yesterday. This move was a shock to federal prosecutors who were expecting a media circus type trial in the coming months.

Reid's movement yesterday included a request that U.S. District Judge William Young remove any reference to the al Qaeda terrorist group from his indictment. And also his name.

"We are very concerned with our client's safety once incarcerated," said Reid's anonymous attorney who wears a paper bag over his head much like the Unknown Comic of the 1970's. He has said in the past the bag is to "cover his shame, even if it is his job as federally appointed defense attorney to defend attempted mass murders."

Attorney General John Ashcroft was said to be furious over the attempt to remove facts from the case for no apparent reason.

"Sure we'll drop the references to al Qaeda," said Ashcroft in a statement outside the Justice Department today. "While were at it maybe we could put him on a plane to Pakistan with 12 million dollars to use as he sees fit and lose track of him forever. We'll just forget the whole damn thing ever happened," said the usually curse word free Ashcroft.

"Having the references to al Qaeda removed from Reid's indictment might just save his life in prison," said the Unknown Attorney. "And also, we'd like to have his name removed from the indictment

Baaaaaad Terrorist

and any court records, that might help him out later, too. We are also seeking an injunction against anyone in the press running a picture of my, from hereon out, unnamed client and also we'd like wiped from the record that he is Muslim, that he's a British citizen, that he tried to blow up a plane full of people and that he likes to screw sheep. If all that is stricken from the record my international, unnamed client who has had some military training, somewhere, will plead guilty to something not named in the indictment."

Legal analysts note that this move is especially shocking considering that it doesn't say anything in the indictment about sheep.