"It was during an outdoor lunch over near campus," said the pudgy manager of a local Kinko's. "The store is pretty close to campus so we see students come in all the time. But for some reason I never noticed that all the females were do-able."

Stevenson's colleagues have mixed opinions on the subject. Jane Roberts, Stevenson's 53-year-old regional manager who has college aged kids says, "It's kind of sick and I wish he wouldn't be talking to the media like this, it's bad for the company." Meanwhile, 18-year-old Nick Kramer who works at Kinko's part-time says he doesn't get what Stevenson is seeing.

"See that girl right there, in the blue?" asks Kramer, "George saw her last week and went all crazy about her. Look at the overbite on her, would you? I don't think I could spend all evening with her, much less look her in the face in bed."

"You mean that braless girl in the tight blue spaghetti strapped top?" asks Stevenson. "Her name is Andrea. She's studying political science. We talked for like 40 minutes last week about Bush's foreign policies toward Africa. It was really nice not to be talking about diaper size or color copies for a while. She lives on campus with her two roommates, Danielle and Jen who come in here sometimes. They're hot as hell too."

Zach Vandenbergh, 31 and a close friend of Stevenson, fully understands "where George is coming from on this."

Putting the Kink in Kinko's

Vandenbergh, who wears his receding hair cropped very close to his scalp, says he's met Stevenson for lunch a few times and is surprised that this revelation hasn't come sooner.

"I get 5 to 6 days of masurbatory material every time we have lunch on campus," jokes Vandenbergh, who apparently didn't realize we had his first and last names.

"During lunch that day George turned to me and said 'These girls have to go out of their way to not be attractive to me'. I think I told him something like, 'No shit, I've only seen two so far that I wouldn't leave my wife for.' We finished the lunch in silence."

Stevenson, for his part, doesn't know what will come next.

"I certainly don't want to leave my loving wife and beautiful baby, especially for some stunning 20-year-old who has no idea what real life is about yet, but I can't seem to rectify this fascination I have," admits Stevenson. "The fact that I have a problem was really driven home yesterday when I saw the entire softball team walking together after they had finished a practice. I was attracted to every single one of them."

In related news 22-year-old OSU student Jason Galvin was totally weirded out this week when his father disagreed with his theory that "they didn't have 17-year-olds like that when I was in high school."