In what scientists are calling a landmark and fun-to-research study, Johns Hopkins University published an article yesterday indicating that doctors who are hot prescribe more high blood pressure medicine than do doctors who lack aesthetic appeal.

Dr. Hugo Morgenstern, author of the study, explains the difficulties that came with such a research project. "At first there was some discussion amongst my colleagues and I about the subjective and therefore immeasurable nature of beauty. But then we realized that we are scientists and can make anything objective. Some people are just ugly and science can prove it."

The study polled 4,382 self-reporting heterosexual patients who utilize the services of a doctor of the opposite sex. Subjects were asked to rate their doctor's looks as "Oh m'God," "Pretty Hot," "Somewhat Attractive," "Homely," or "Butt." Subjects were then asked what medications that doctor is currently prescribing to them. Patients who described their doctors as either "Oh m'God" or " Pretty Hot" were 44% more likely to be prescribe medicine for high blood pressure.

Samuel Haver, 25, one of the patients polled who said his doctor was "Oh m'God," commented that he never thought

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that he would suffer from such an ailment at such a young age. "I don't really understand it because when I take my blood pressure at home it's normal. But, I don't care much. It means I get to go to see my doctor more often! Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about contracting other illnesses and about her treating them."

"The study unfortunately does not speak to the cause of such a phenomenon," indicates Dr. Terry Limky, a colleague of Morgenstern. "And it raises some fundamental questions about the correlation of physical health and beauty. More specifically, why are people who suffer from high blood pressure more likely to employ the services of an attractive doctor?"

The study also unexpectedly showed an opposite trend in the prescribing of Viagra. Male patients who described their female doctors as "Oh m'God" or " Pretty Hot" were 78% less likely to be prescribed Viagra by their doctor. This trend may be even harder to explain, as the percentages are more rigid and less flaccid.

All the researchers who were contacted for comment expressed the importance of such continued studies in this area and expressed excitement about participating in further research on this topic. They also reported a slight increase in blood pressure when thinking about the research.