Deanna "Dee" Laney, 38, of New Chapel Hill is currently being held without bond while undergoing psychiatric evaluation. Laney herself called 911 and told police that she had murdered her sons, but that God had told her to do it. Dinsmore seeks The Almighty's testimony to determine what, if any, role He had in the slayings.
While the youngest, a 14-month-old infant, remains in critical condition in an area hospital, Laney's two older sons, aged ten and eight, were found by police in the Laney's back yard, their bodies held down by large rocks. All three had been severely beaten.
"While our preliminary investigation seems to point to the mother, the rocks continue to baffle us," said Dinsmore. "They make this look more like some kind of stoning than a murder, and so we would like to bring God in for questioning to determine what role He may have had in this." Stoning was a favored method for dispatching sinners in the early days of the Church, or "Bible Times."
"I want to make it perfectly clear that we do not wish to place God under arrest, we only wish to see if He has any information that might corroborate Ms. Laney's story," said Dinsmore at a late evening press conference. However, a source within the Texas State District Attorney's office says that officials have noted a disturbing increase of murders attributed to instruction by Deities in recent years. They cite the case of Andrea Yates of Houston who drowned her five children after allegedly being told by Satan to do so.
The DA's office notes that Deity-sanctioned murder has been a problem since Pope Urban I launched the First Crusade, claiming "God Wills It!", leading ultimately to the death of over 50,000 and advances in science and trade. The source says that the Texas DA's office has noticed the recent trend and would like to take steps to reduce the alarming rise in Theocracide before it escalates to Crusade level.
The DA admits that getting God to "come in from the cold" for deposition is something of a long shot, but hopes he can appeal to the Almighty's "sense of decency and eternal respect for family values."
"I believe that in the end, He will come in and sit down with us. I'm sure He has nothing to hide. If for whatever reason He may have ordered the slayings, and I'm not saying He did, mind you, I'm sure that there is a reasonable explanation," says Dinsmore.
