Influenced by news of a successful Husband-to-Wife Liver Transplant, doctors are seeing a sharp spike in general Husband-to-Wife Organ donation activities, a recent AMA article reports. Inspired by such a selfless display of love, husbands nationwide are literally cutting themselves open to outdo one another in an unintended conteste de l'amour.

The journal report mentions several new donations that are not receiving nearly as much publicity as the liver operation. It includes reports that a Los Angeles resident has given a lung to his wife, and a Bostonian has given a segment of his small intestine to his wife. And a man from Coon Holler, Alabama has donated two of his fingernails to his spouse, whose "fingers wuz got mashed in a poundin' accident."

And just where do all the extra organs go?

But there are more interesting stories. For example:

Phil Issca, of Terre Haute, Indiana has offered to donate his heart to his wife, should she ever need it. The wife was decidedly touched, but has declined the transplant, stating that her husband is better off alive and earning money "on-the-job" at the local Honda factory where he supervises the manufacture of radiators for Hondas that mysteriously "go bad" after 3,000 miles.

"He means a lot to me," said his wife, "especially alive and earning money, so I can stay at home eating bon-bons and banging the pool boy." Further investigation revealed that the Isscas do not actually own a pool. The pool boy, it turns out, works for the neighbors down the street and is reported to be "marvelously hung."

Mr. Issca was not apprised of this last bit of information following "negotiations" between Ms. Issca and US Press Staff.

Not all husband-to-wife donations go so smoothly, though. One man in Bison City, Utah preemptively donated a kidney to his wife. It turns out, however, that not only do they not share the same blood type, but he didn't tell her until after the costly transplant operation was performed. Moreover, it seems that he misled his wife concerning her need for a transplant.

"So what?" quips the husband, "Its not like I misled a nation into war . . . whaddaya gonna do? Impeach me?"

Local authorities promise to look into the matter with "all the rabid ferociousness of a Congressional Inquiry," said Bison City Police Chief Dale "Howlin Sane" Murdoch. "We will not rest until our budget is exhausted . . . which is about fifteen minutes ago."

Other husband-to-wife donations mentioned in the AMA report include: A Seattle man who donated his brain to his wife, saying, "Hey, we're married, what's the difference?"; and a Chicago native who donated his testicles to his wife under similar circumstances.

"Hell, I know she can't use 'em. But she already had a bedside jar picked out, and hey, we're married, what's the difference?" None of the men whose donations were life-threatening seemed neither cognizant of the fact, nor concerned.