After days of incessant finger pointing that reached as far as southern Canada, officials at Indian Point Nuclear Energy Facility near New York City have admitted that which many assumed in the first place, that a blackout which crippled as much as one-quarter of the North American Continent was caused by a bumbling oaf working for ConEd, the regional power corporation that runs New York's section of the national power grids.

The oaf, identified as one Hiram Fisk, was found literally asleep at the switch deep within the recesses of the

This costly mistake will probably cause Hiram Fisk to be chided, threatened and eventually banished by his community. Either that or bring him a level of celebrity the likes of which haven't been seen since the release of "Jackass: The Movie"

Indian Point Power facility, and, having passed out from eating too many doughnuts, had bumped the "Universal Blackout" button at his work station, a T-437 Safety Command Console.

Sheepish officials with ConEd were quick to point out that things could have been much worse.

"It seems that Fisk passed out prior to hitting the switch," said ConEd spokesperson Lari Fletcher, "and had begun drooling into the console."

When Fisk's head, unspeakably weary from what officials estimate to be a five-doughnut bender, lolled over and pressed the Universal Blackout button, or UBLO, it did indeed cause the blackout that affected two nations, six states and millions of commuters.

"Luckily, Mr. Fisk's drool had shorted out part of the UBLO circuit," continued Ms. Fletcher, "thus making the blackout merely regional rather than truly universal."

White House officials were visibly relieved to learn that the aforementioned oaf asleep at the switch was not the President, but rather, somebody else.

"We'd like to see the Democrats try and pin this one directly on 'W'," said spokesman Larry Brown. "Sure, he was asleep, but that was at a California fundraiser, not anywhere near the East Coast. In fact, the President doesn't plan on being anywhere near the East Coast during his month long vacation."

Power company officials scrambled to cope with the blackout and followed through on a promise to restore power on a wealth by wealth basis, starting with the Clintons.

In related news, scientists noted a striking decrease in radiation levels over the region, which is being attributed to the absence of cell phone traffic. New Yorkers noted that despite the horrible sacrifices, hardships, and smells of living without electricity for a few hours, their heads have all stopped hurting for the time being.