Having struggled for month to smuggle even a sharpened toothpick on board any intercontinental flights, terrorist foot soldiers now seem to have gotten a long desired break.

"We had devised a plan on how to break open the new cockpit doors using plastic food utensils and poor quality headsets," confessed on trigger-happy celebrator. "But so far we have failed to find a flight long enough for the three week procedure. Now we can go back to simply slitting throats again."

A spokesman for The US Marshal Service didn't comply with the terrorists reasoning by saying, "Look, I don't think you guys understand. Our Marshals will be heavily armed. To try and overpower them in mid flight unarmed you'd really need a severe death wish.... oh.."

After some internal deliberation the spokesman returned with a different set of arguments. "I mean, come on. ANY sign of trouble and the marshals will act forcefully and will not hesitate to shoot large holes in the cabin and.. - ah..."

A veteran hijacker explained the new threat this way, "US Carriers have been using Marshals for ages, but in the old days you never knew which flights they were on. Now all you have to do is board a flight to England and look for a fat guy in a moustache."

One security procedure put in use this week that has spooked the rank of terrorists however, is the screening of passengers that took place on a British Airways flight from London upon arrival to Dulles international in Washington.

"This is something we had not foreseen," said Suicide Bomb Coordinator Sham El Sharif of the Al Qaeda Fraction For Spreading Intestines All Over The Place. "Now we can't wait for the plane to land and taxi to its designated gate before we detonate the bombs. What a bummer."

Responding to the reasonable concern of Marshals being terrorists the CIA explained the following directive:

• In case of the flight crew suspecting the onboard heavily armed Marshal of being a terrorist, stewardesses shall immediately deploy the secretively placed shot guns and detain the Marshal.
• In case of the flight crew themselves joining the rebel cause there will be a leaflet in every passenger seat explaining the whereabouts of several stun guns, hand cuffs and rocket launchers.
• In case of the entire flight being jam packed with terrorist sympathizers a maximum of $5 million in ransom will be paid out for the safe return of the kosher meals and complimentary beverages.