Investment banker Theodore Natham told his clients today that he was very pleased with the coming dividend of their substantial contribution to the presidential campaign of Howard Dean. Having spent most of the winter keen on John Kerry, Theodore found himself swept away by an emotional Dean passing by on a campaign tour in early January.

"He just seemed so honest, so determined, so stark, raving....ecstatic," said Natham all dressed in "for America" bumper stickers. "Every time he's interviewed on television he looks just like

"Wait I see a twenty dollar bill back there! Sir! Sir! I'll write you a reciept for that, it's tax deductible!"

Christopher Reeve in his wheelchair. I mean come on. There's no way I'll put my or my clients money against a guy with possible x-ray vision."

A week after Natham mailed the six-figure check Howard Dean appeared in Iowa and launched his "I have a scream" speech.

"It was like watching amazon dot com posting actual profits," explained Theodore with fifteen years of investment banking under his belt. "His financial backing is phenomenal. Just goes to show how many shrewd investors we have in this country. I'm

"One dollar is all it takes to put me in a low-level cabinet position. I know, times are tight, but we can all pull together to keep me employed, I know we can. If you can't spare a dollar, a ham sandwich will be fine."

absolutely positive this is the first campaign ever being single-handedly decided by one speech."

Since then Howard Dean's support appears to have plummeted, but that is not something that worries Natham.

"As I tell my clients all the time, whenever a stock booms, at some point it will recess slightly to gather strength before soaring again. We just need to pump in some more cash."

Dean's Vermont headquarters reported that Natham's money has played a vital part in the team's effort to buy enough airtime to keep Dean in fourth place, drink themselves silly and to develop the "Dean for vice president" top hat.

"If he could just find it in his heart or in his clients pockets to send another check," said a steaming team leader Danielle Humphries, "then we could finish printing the brand new `Vote Dean in Local Town Council Election` top hat replacement posters. Woho! Go Dean!"

"THEY'RE EMITTING MORE STOCK!!?? HOLY CHRIST!! THIS IS BETTER THAN ENRON!!" replied Natham calling his clients.