It all started with what many thought was just another isolated incident of good lovin' gone bad when Kobe Bryant was frog marched before the media, for an alleged rape incident in Summer 2003 in Eagle, Colorado. And then in January 2004 the University of Colorado opened an investigation into an embarrassing--but admittedly hot--"Sex and Booze for Recruits" scandal. Then earlier this week a former place kicker charged that a senior player raped her. Soon charges resurfaced of similar actions by other players against three more women were filed. And let's not forget that whole unsolved Jon Benet Ramsey mess.

The question that started with Kobe now has everyone asking: "Why can't Colorado keep they hands off the white women?" Some say it's just misplaced momentum.

"You remember when we had that anti-fag referendum?" says Artemis Mupple, of Beaver Falls,

"Hey, where are the lawyers at?"

"Well sir, it got so bad that Barbara Streisand said she'd hafta leave the state. And so she did. But we didn't expect her to leave so soon, what with bein' rich and all. And so then we kinda had all this extra 'testoroni' floatin' around and I guess a buncha us didn't quite know what to do with it all." Mupple is one of ten Coloradoans not currently under investigation for untoward activity.

Mupple doesn't speak for all Coloradoans, of course. Vicki Obbins represents the Colorado State Chamber of Commerce. She says that all these woman-grabbing headlines are hurting the Centennial State's image ... as well as its wealth.

"People are starting to voice concern that we are, well, less than respectful of our white women," said Obbins in a Wednesday interview. "We will work to change this. Our new tourism campaign invites visitors to handle all of Colorado's women, regardless of color."

Obbins was fired later that day. Authorities will not say whether she will file any charges for anything.

Other people say that Coloradoans are less-than-educated on the current state of gender issues. University of Colorado's football head coach Gary Barnett has been placed on administrative leave in the wake of comments the administration deemed controversial. In an impromptu press conference, Barnett said of the former player filing charges: "She's a girl ... and not only is she just a girl, she's a terrible player." Pundits and boosters give Barnett high marks for correctly identifying the woman's gender, but question the wisdom of retaining a player he calls "terrible." The woman later left the program and now plays at the University of New Mexico.

"Coach Barnett is under a lot of strain, what with that Sex-and-Booze for Recruits investigation," says Kyle Stanton, a prominent CU Alumni and Booster, "I wonder what we could do to help him feel better...?"

Still, none of this explains recent behavior of Coloradoans toward their women, or what can be done to improve the situation. But many agree that it is somewhat more entertaining that Janet 'N' Justin. At least for now.