A few days ago, 22-year-old Scott Evans of Centreville, Ohio, was overcome with boredom and decided to make a visit to his local library. Once at the library, he remembered hearing about how the Patriot Act allows the government access to library records with unprecedented ease. So, to test the system he decided to check out terrorism related books and movies just to see if anything would happen to him.

"I'm really not familiar with the Patriot Act, so I was just screwing around," said Evans. That day at the library he compiled a list of curious literature and movies to check out: The Koran, "The Anarchist Cookbook" by William Powell, a book on kung fu, "The Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie, "Dianetics" by Ron L. Hubbard, "Final Exit", "Black Sunday" written by Thomas Harris, various conspiracy and assassination bios of Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Boothe and the Unabomber, Karl Marx manifestos, maps of the New York City subway systems, a book on how to fly a plane and movies consisting of the Arnold Schwartzenegger action flick, "Collateral Damage", the first season DVD of the TV show "24", "The Siege", "Red Dawn", and just "to mess with The Man," "Weekend at Bernie's II."

Librarian Maureen Downs was slightly suspicious of Scott's choice of content,

Federal law requires every library to have a dark, dank, dead-end like the one pictured to house anything "remotely interesting."

but according to the Ohio law, she is not allowed to divulge patrons' records. In this situation she decided it would be better to break the law. After Evans left, she proceeded to call a government official to place Evans on "some sort of list."

"I know I violated the law, but I felt this kid was going to cause some trouble and I was just trying to protect this wonderful country from any more potential incidents. And that guy didn't have enough cash on him to pay his $5 late fee."

A day after he checked out his books, Scott began receiving an immense amount of SPAM email advertising porn websites and Viagra sales.

"I'm a little disappointed that nothing has happened to me. I had hoped that by now the Feds would've been flying their fancy helicopters over my house to distract me as the army broke down my door to drag me to an undisclosed location, but no. Nada. Zip. I did get slapped with a block on my library account and received a higher interest rate on my latest credit card bill because I refused to pay my late fee."

Evans tried to familiarize himself with the material that he ended up checking out but complained that he couldn't read the Koran because it was written in gibberish, and that Collateral Damage "bit the big one."

"It hasn't been a total washout. At least I know how to make a Molotov Cocktail, fly a plane, properly slit my wrists and plan a conspiracy to assassinate the President if necessary. I like the library."