On Monday night President Bush kicked off a televised mini-series event entitled "Redundancy: Postponing Failure with Inaction." The six part series of speeches will be forced upon the voting public at random intervals between now and the handover of power in Iraq on June 30.

Despite the fact that Bush presented almost no new information in the first speech, Republican Senator Rick Santorum said in a statement that the President showed "great strength" on Monday night by restraining himself from pre-empting prime time network television.

"It's important for the American public to know," said Bush today in a self celebratory after party, "that if my methods in Iraq continue to be questioned I can, and will, take away Fear Factor. That's how committed I am to a free Iraq."

Bush claims the mini-series will teach the American public important self-improvement techniques most notably how to make things happen through redundancy.

"It's valuable for everyone to know, children included,

"Hi, I will be re-elected. Hi, I will be re-elected. Hi, I will be re-elected."

that great things can be achieved with little or no action. It's a little known...uh...facts that if you just say something over and over again, it will eventually have meaning."

The series of speeches will offer examples from earlier in Bush's life when he was able to achieve mediocre success by simply uttering his goals aloud.

"When I was in high school, all I wanted was to go to Yale. I mentioned it one night at dinner and again during dessert and the next thing I knew, I was accepted. Same thing happened concerning Vietnam. Over and over again I mentioned to my father's friends that I didn't want to go, and it worked...I didn't have to go."

The as yet named fourth speech will tell the entire story of how Bush's technique of redundancy led to his rise as an oil man and how it earned him ownership of a Major League Baseball franchise.

"Look, I can't simplify this any more simply," says Bush with his trademark smirk, "If you just say something often enough, it will happen. It's been the plan in Iraq since the beginning. We will create a free Iraq, we will hand over power on time and with Jesus as my witness we will be loved by Muslims the world over, even if I have to stay up late repeating it."