Eighteen-year-old Paul Avery, President of the D.C War Games and Miniature Battles Association expressed regret that their most prestigious member had been asked to leave.

"It's a real disappointment for us. Don raised our profile and donated a lot of his spare time to the club. But we couldn't overlook some of the things he was doing. It was with much regret that we eventually had to ask him to leave."

Others in the club were less diplomatic. "That guy is a stinking doody-head!" said club treasurer, sixteen-year-old Tom Scott. "Did you see what he did to my tin soldiers?"

"The fact is that I was not asked to leave the club. That's ridiculous, I helped found the club, I support the club. But I left the club because there are forces there that don't support the club, don't support freedom, are fighting against what is best and what is right."

The controversy erupted two weeks ago when, it is alleged, Donald Rumsfeld damaged property belonging to a player. After a bitter dispute, several club members staged a walk out.

"He captured a few of my regiments and held them prisoner, which happens in every battle," Tom Scott told the press today. "But after the game when he gave them back, they're all scratched up and damaged! I'm like, what the hell did he do to them? They looked like they'd been chewed on by dogs or something! He's all innocent and smug about it as if he didn't know anything about it! Bull-twang he didn't know anything about it!"

Scott, upset by Rumsfeld's disregard for his captured pieces, later said, "He may be famous and influential but it doesn't mean he has the right to treat other people's armies like that. It's not my fault he's a lousy tactician!" According to Scott, Rumsfeld was notorious for taking too few of his miniature soldiers into any battle. "His second mistake is pissing off all his allies in the game! He so aggressive because he wants to win and hog all the glory, and ends up just insulting everyone who doesn't do what he wants. Now, nobody wants to play with him anymore."

"He's a lamer," said twelve-year-old Will Petersen. "Once, when he was supposed to be my ally, he called me 'cheese eating surrender-monkey,' just because I disagreed on strategy! He shouldn't have said that, it was a mean thing to say. Who wants to play with a person like that? Nobody in the club likes him anymore and everyone thinks he's a lamer."

Donald Rumsfeld was not available for comment.