The Stepometer™, a perambulation odometer, is the first (count 'em) step in McDonald's quest to join Jack LaLanne and the AMA among American institutions associated with health and fitness.

Unlike recent McDonald's promotions for Jimmy Neutron and the Muppets Go to the DMV, it had an inauspicious arrival. Its debuts in Paris and Milan this spring garnered nary a mention in the major fashion rags.

But then a pink one appeared dangling flirtatiously from Star Jones's G-string on the cover of Playboy, and a string of guest appearances -- Oprah, Leno, TLC -- by its bespectacled inventor captivated style hounds everywhere. Suddenly, Vogue and InStyle found themselves scrambling to be the first to market with Stepometer™ photo spreads.

Already ubiquitous in New York and L.A.'s best known hot spots, the Stepometer™ has emerged the latest fashion phenomenon to be both the standard and requisite of chic for a generation.

At just over two inches high, it's compact and cutting-edge. It gives up nothing to the

McDonald's: Couplilng high fashion and gourmet cuisine since 2004

calculator and pocket protector, while allowing "the woman on the go to collect all six to coordinate with any outfit," says McDonald's director of promotions, Mayor McCheese.

Never before did supplies last such a short while, and many of those late to the party have had to turn to Internet auction site eBay, where Stepometers™ in the hottest colors have recently fetched upwards of $4.

"Originally, the Stepometer™ was a transparent and, at first glance, lame attempt to deflect scrutiny from our" Extra-Value-and-Arterial-Obstruction Meals, says McDonald's spokesperson Commissioner McBacon, a guy that makes Ronald McDonald look like an Apprentice contestant. "I mean, counting how many steps our customers walk is like counting tie-dye T-shirts in Iraq: people are still going to blow up."

But while McBacon explores new options -- like coupons for $2 off heart surgery ("They add up, like a 401(k)") -- VIP rooms full of reclining glitterati comparing digital "step counts" have become a common sight. And an astonishing array of the hottest celebrities have fallen into step(ometer): current it-girl Lindsay Lohan dazzled on the red carpet with a Stepometer™ customized with a color screen and $1.2 million in gold plating and encrusted jewels. Christina Aguilera was spotted pleasuring herself with one, and Mariah Carey, ever the diva, has been making the rounds with one of each color hanging like a charm from a necklace or bracelet.

Bertha, a self-described lifelong McDonald's fanatic from Milwaukee, and proud owner of three complete sets of Stepometers, had this to say: "It's nice to know that snotty, malnourished models and image-obsessed secretaries on Fifth Avenue aren't the only ones on the cutting edge of style these days. Thank you, Mickey-D's!"