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With Monster's Death, Dr. Frankenstein Expects Poll Bounce
U.S. Daniels
06/09/2006

Dr. Victor Frankenstein held a town square press conference today to announce the death of the town menace, Frankenstein's Monster. The Monster was killed by an elite mob of villagers in the early morning hours with a precision pitchfork attack.

Although refraining from the thoughtless bravado for which he has become known, the doctor seemed visibly giddy as he announced what he called "a victory in the fight against re-animation."

Many on the doctor's staff say privately that they hope this will positively influence Frankenstein's standing in the community which has taken a nose dive over the last few years as the hunt for the Monster has dragged on with many casualties on both sides. But critics wonder if killing your own creation can really be considered a "heck of a job."

"Look," explains one weary villager, "Creating a threat for the community and then having the protectors of the community do away with the threat does not make you a great civic leader. And I think even the good doctor can see that."

Nevertheless, it is expected that local polls will show a rise in the doctor's approval rating, a fact that many in the Frankenstein camp will relish.

"We've been waiting a long time for the public to come back around to the doctor's side," says long time supporter Henry Clerval.
A photo purporting to show the dead Monster was released by the doctor to calm the community.
"We've known since day one that he has the ability to make this town stronger and more secure from re-animated humans and the senseless violence that they bring."

Robert Walton, a professor of medical ethics at a nearby university and staunch Frankenstein critic, notes what most see as an indisputable truth. "This town had no ties to re-animation before the doctor created the Monster. His research into the subject will only encourage others to make monsters. The doctor's policies have surely lengthened the war against re-animation, not shortened it."

"I know what people are saying," counters Frankenstein who in the past has boasted that he doesn't even listen to the town crier. "I know that there are people in the village who are losing their backbone and would just as soon see this town overrun by re-animated monsters than fight. But look, by creating monsters and then hunting and killing them, we are showing how serious we are about eliminating this problem. The more monsters we kill, clearer it will be that we kill monsters. It's like hunting cage raised birds. Some find it distasteful but it sends a serious message to the dangerous wild birds."

Walton, meanwhile, pines for what he calls "those halcyon days when logic was rampant." Calling into question the doctor's motives and thought processes, Walton says, "The villagers did great work today to fix one of the problems the doctor has created for us, but when is someone going to stand up and protect us from the doctor?"


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